Feedback Frenzy: Make It Worth the Pain
by Barbara Reinhold
Few things are as painful as hearing negative things about you. Some of us get mad. Others want to run away and hide. Some want to get even. But there's absolutely nothing more important to your career than finding people you respect who are willing to observe your behavior and give you feedback, and then knowing what to do with it.
The SBI model devised by the Center for Creative Leadership, one of the country's premier leadership training enterprises, is easy to remember and fairly simple to implement. The “S” stands for situation, the “B” for behavior and the “I” for impact.
Here's how it works: Suppose your boss, Stan, is not just a good boss to work for, but also somebody who takes his coaching responsibilities seriously. You've gotten wind of some dissatisfaction with your way of running meetings, and you want to figure out how to be more effective. You know Stan is scheduled to sit in on your monthly unit leader's meeting this week. This is a great time to ask him to observe and make some suggestions about what he sees.
Situation: Ask Stan to describe the meeting. How did people appear to be experiencing the meeting? What crosscurrents were in the air?
Behavior: How did Stan see your behavior? What did you say or not say? How did you handle the meeting? What nonverbal behavior did he observe? Ask him to be as specific as possible.
Impact: How did Stan feel about the way you conducted the meeting? Did he notice how others seemed to react? Could the meeting have gone differently had you managed things another way?
Make time with Stan to debrief. Ask probing questions about his observations and request suggestions for how you might improve in those particular areas. Take the time to repeat back to Stan some of what he's telling you to be sure you understand. Don't be afraid to ask for more specifics. Try your hardest not to interrupt, become defensive or try to explain yourself. Just listen. This is pure gold you're being given, no matter how upsetting it might be in the short run. Thank Stan for his time. If you're lucky, he will have found the interaction with you productive and will be willing to give feedback via the SBI model the next time you ask.
